Part Two: When Help Hurts—From Protection to People-Pleasing: The Advocacy Mistake Parents Don’t See.

What if helping your child is actually teaching them to stay quiet, comply, and people-please authority figures?

In Part Two of this powerful series, Anita Sandoval, LPC, and Gladys Cortez, LPC-S, unpack the uncomfortable truth many parents never realize: over-protection and misdirected advocacy can silence a child’s voice instead of empowering it.

This episode dives deep into IEPs, 504 plans, ADA rights, neurodivergence, and developmental readiness, revealing how well-intentioned parents may accidentally place adult-level responsibility on children whose brains are still developing.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Why your child won’t ask for help
• Why accommodations exist but aren’t used
• Why “good parenting” sometimes creates anxious, compliant adults

👉 This episode is for you.

🎧 Watch or listen now — because advocacy should build confidence, not compliance.

🔥 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

✔️ Why including children in advocacy matters more than speaking for them
✔️ How schools can unintentionally manipulate accommodations by placing decisions on kids
✔️ Why children cannot always identify or verbalize overwhelm — and why that’s normal
✔️ The hidden danger of telling kids to “just ask for help”
✔️ How people-pleasing behaviors start in childhood
✔️ The real difference between IEPs vs. 504 plans (and why it matters long-term)
✔️ How ADA rights extend into college, work, and adulthood
✔️ Why protection without empowerment creates fear, anxiety, and compliance
✔️ What parents should advocate for themselves vs. what kids can learn over time
✔️ How to raise a child who knows their rights without shame or pressure

🎧 Listen on your favorite platform: 

https://www.anitasandoval.com/podcast-directories

🌿 Join the EmpowerHer Community + access meditation relief resources:

https://www.anitasandoval.com/empowerher/links

Chapters

• 0:00 The ADA rights parents don’t realize their child already has
• 1:00 “With them, not without them” — the advocacy rule that changes everything
• 2:00 Why kids can’t always say “I’m overwhelmed”
• 5:00 Why kids don’t ask for accommodations (even when they’re allowed)
• 6:00 Shame, calling kids out, and what actually helps instead
• 8:00 How collaborative advocacy really works
• 12:00 IEP vs. 504 — explained without the jargon
• 15:00 ADA rights beyond school: college, work, public spaces
• 18:00 Job discrimination, invisible disabilities, and employee rights
• 22:00 Why independence must be taught before 18
• 24:00 The painful truth about protection vs. growth

Transcript

When Help Hurts: From Protection to People-Pleasing — The Advocacy Mistake Parents Don’t See (Part 2)

[00:00:00] Cedric: What if ‘protecting’ your child is actually training them to people-please authority figures?

[00:00:06] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: We start that when they're teeny tiny.

[00:00:09] So with them, not without them or with us, not without us, you know, depending on, on who's doing the advocating. Right. Yeah. If I'm self advocating, do it with me. Don't make a decision without me. 

[00:00:19] Nancy: So what happens when adults keep making decisions for their kids… instead of with them 

[00:00:24] Anita Sandoval LPC: ?

[00:00:24] they're young, their brain is still developing.

[00:00:27] And two, because they're still learning within their own body of how their brain is functioning. And so this is where I come in and I'm letting you know that she cannot make that decision as of now because she's learning how that feels for her. 

[00:00:45] Grace: This is Part Two: When Help Hurts—From Protection to People-Pleasing: The Advocacy Mistake Parents Don’t See.

[00:00:52] Watch or listen now. 

[00:00:53] 

[00:01:42] 

[00:01:42] Anita Sandoval LPC: when the child starts growing into their teens and then going into young adults, the, the issue now. Comes that they're gonna go to college, and people don't even know some of them that these 5 0 4 strategies, they can have these, accommodations also in [00:02:00] college and at work.

[00:02:01] And they had no idea that according to the American Disabilities Act, that they can have these strategies so they could be able to learn effectively. How can they start practicing self-advocacy for themselves at school, in college, at work, and how can parents help that transition?

[00:02:20] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Right. So we, we start that when they're teeny tiny. Yeah, we start that. So requesting that your daughter be present at their meeting. Yes. At least in Texas, they, they can be invited when they're 14. 

[00:02:32] Wow. They're required to 

[00:02:33] be there 14 and over. All right. Wow. I requested my sibling to be there before.

[00:02:39] Yeah, she's 11. Yeah. My daughter that's 14 is the requirement. Wow. But it doesn't say they can't be eight years old and be there. It doesn't say that they can be 10 whatever age before 14. It doesn't say no, they are denied entrance. No, it just says by 14 they need to be made part of that meeting. 

[00:02:57] Yeah, yeah.

[00:02:58] Right. So with [00:03:00] them, not without them or with us, not without us, you know, depending on, on who's doing the advocating. Right. Yeah. If I'm self advocating, do it with me. Don't make a decision without me. 

[00:03:09] Yeah. You know? 

[00:03:09] And, and I think you did a beautiful job in, in advocating for your daughter to be present at her meeting at, because who better?

[00:03:17] Anita Sandoval LPC: And what I saw, what I saw also that they do, and I just wanna bring this up for parents, is that they wanna manipulate that too. Going, oh, I don't really like this strategy. Let me ask the child. To see so they could take it away. And like one of them was like, oh, well, we'll give you that extra day, but don't take advantage of it.

[00:03:37] You know, plainly singing it. And you just, whenever you feel overwhelmed and whatnot, really? So I go, excuse me. Even though she's here and she's 11, one of the diagnoses issues is that their mind and body cannot connect and register. I'm feeling overwhelmed. One, because they're young, their brain is still developing.

[00:03:58] And two, because [00:04:00] they're still learning within their own body of how their brain is functioning. And so this is where I come in and I'm letting you know that she cannot make that decision as of now because she's learning how that feels for her. And so when the teacher said, I noticed that she was doing this and this and that, luckily that person had, knowledge with your divergence.

[00:04:23] And I go, thank you for saying. And that's the strategy I want for teachers to check on the child in certain ways where it's not, you know, singling them out, but noticing these body cues. And I mentioned the body cues that she gives that she may not be aware of, but this is where the adults with the brain that is fully developed can help support this.

[00:04:45] But to give this to her to say and do as a child, no, that's not age appropriate for that specific. So just wanted to mention that before also when we advocating and moving forward, that, , [00:05:00] this is where we also have to understand and decipher is this something they can do or is this something for me?

[00:05:04] And if they wanna manipulate, oh, have the kid do it, they're still minors and if it's a right. Yeah. 

[00:05:11] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Yeah. And, and you know, one of the things, , as you mentioned, you know, with, with some of our kiddos, they may be, they may, their primary means of communication may be verbal. Yeah. You know, which is great.

[00:05:23] But like you mentioned, and again, that's where the parent expertise comes in. You know, her body cues, right? Like, oh, okay, she's getting anxious, or, you know what she's, this is, she needs to take a break, you know, whatever it is. Now, you know, I, I will say this, when I'm working with families, with parents, I tell 'em, you know, I do help them also understand the responsibilities of an educator, the teacher.

[00:05:47] 'cause they have a lot, you know, it's not just my son in, in that classroom. I know that there's at least, you know, depending on which classroom, you know, there's 22 plus students in the classroom. Yeah. So imagine if they learn all the body cues for everybody, [00:06:00] you know, but not everybody needs accommodations.

[00:06:02] Yeah. 

[00:06:03] Okay. And then, and then sometimes if they're middle school and up, they have six, eight different classes. Imagine all those students. Right. But as experts in our children, you know, you as a parent, you said, okay, but this, this, and this. Like, these are. The cues. Ah, you know, you brought up a a, a good point.

[00:06:23] Oftentimes with some of my, individuals that I work with, , they're quote unquote higher functioning. Mm-hmm. So some of these accommodations are like, well, it is on there. They have access to them when they ask for them, when the student, 

[00:06:36] Anita Sandoval LPC: yes. Yes, exactly. 

[00:06:39] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: , and it's like, yeah, okay. Do you forget that we don't wanna stand out like sore thumbs because we already are, we already do stand out because we need all these gadgets and fidgets and stuff, depending, again, depending on the condition.

[00:06:53] Yeah. 

[00:06:53] 

[00:06:54] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: and you want me to raise my hand and say, I need help. You know, that [00:07:00] developmental stage, we want to not stand out. Yeah. We wanna be like our peers. Yeah. Right. and so it's likely they're not going to ask. 

[00:07:09] Yeah. 

[00:07:09] So, you know, I think. Unless the individual says, no, I got it. Like I'll ask for it.

[00:07:17] Yeah. But 

[00:07:17] that's once we've worked with our, our kiddos, right. And have, , empowered them enough to know, you know, like you said, that mind body connection. Okay, 

[00:07:26] yes. You know, 

[00:07:27] Help them already, you know, identify that and, and Oh wait, this doesn't feel right. You know what I really don't understand. Can you please clarify?

[00:07:36] , you know, regarding those cues, if once the teacher becomes aware of this, you know, instead of calling that person out in front of everybody, because once you bring shame into the picture, we start getting nervous and then all sorts of other things, and all of a sudden we're behavior or challenging behavior issues now.

[00:07:52] Yeah. And 

[00:07:52] it's like, well, you know, we've talked about, you know, underneath all that there might be anxiety, you know, you just called them out. They might be [00:08:00] upset and rightfully so. Yeah. So what about approaching them and just, or together with that student. Coming up with some sort of like nonverbal cue.

[00:08:10] Yes. Like, yes, 

[00:08:13] yes. 

[00:08:13] Or you know, something to where the teacher says, okay, okay, class, go ahead and get, you know. Yeah. Work on whatever it is you're working on. Yeah. You know, we'll just take a quick break and then, okay. What happened? 

[00:08:24] Mm-hmm. , 

[00:08:24] Gladys, what happened, Anita? 

[00:08:26] Mm-hmm. I love how you said that. And yeah.

[00:08:29] So it could be, 

[00:08:29] yeah, it could be nonverbal cues, , but, you know, something that the student in this case, , will or potentially can come up with or the parent says, you know, when they start doing this, that's your cue. , you know, so because we have a lot of diagnoses that are invisible, yeah. Not necessarily so visible.

[00:08:48] Anita Sandoval LPC: Yes. And I love how you said that because, okay, so the transitioning now is okay, when, when other administrators wanna tell you how it's supposed to work and you're like, no, this is my [00:09:00] child. , this is how this gonna work. This is where their brain is developing and where they're at. And this is some of their cues.

[00:09:05] , I also put down. Why it helps me and what I'm doing on my part. When you guys do this, then I can do this and it'll help you by doing this. And so I go, I work with them 20, 30 minutes a day on this subject to subject to subject. So when I ask for this, it isn't for you to have extra work only, it's because then I'm doing the extra work on this part so you don't have to work the extra load on your part for reteaching or doing this or doing that.

[00:09:33] And so my line is open and just so you know, this is my part, what I will do. And I go, I know it's hard to call the parents. So guess what? Every three weeks or so often, I will reach out to you and if I follow up and you still don't reach out, then I will talk to an administrator going, Hey, what's happening?

[00:09:48] So these are things that will help on my behalf. And so, and then this is what she's gonna do on her behalf. This is what you all gonna do on your behalf, and this is how we work collaboratively. And so, so [00:10:00] that's how we ended up, the, the, the meeting. Mm-hmm. And so, i, I like how you said that like, they're getting to know themselves, so now we're transitioning, they're knowing, oh, what can I do?

[00:10:11] How does that work when it comes to going to college and work and all that stuff. 

[00:10:15] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Yeah. I'll just briefly touch base on, oh, you just mentioned, you know, that your experience with this recent meeting, you know, if we're gonna advocate, we be re we need to be ready. Okay. To take on a load of the responsibility.

[00:10:29] Yeah. All 

[00:10:30] right. If we're demanding for their, for the, for the IEP to say daily phone calls or daily communication with the, from the teacher home, then we need to be ready to respond to the phone call, put Thank you teacher for the feedback on the little behavior chart, whatever it is. , you know, just to validate because Okay.

[00:10:52] Yeah. Like you mentioned, you know, they're not, they have more students and we have to understand that. [00:11:00] This is not a one-on-one education platform. You know, they have other students and, and part of that is we wanna validate 

[00:11:09] Yeah. And 

[00:11:10] also respect their position. Goodness knows that I cannot be a teacher.

[00:11:15] Like I know I am not fit to be a teacher. 

[00:11:17] Yeah. 

[00:11:18] Which is why I hold them in high regard. Yeah, 

[00:11:20] yeah, yeah. 

[00:11:20] Okay. We also have to be aware and understand that sometimes depending on the school settings, some teachers don't, while they have access to it, they're not told, Hey, access your system to see what accommodations or, you know, what the IEP looks like for all these students you have in your classroom.

[00:11:37] Yeah. 

[00:11:38] So making sure that, again, as responsible parents of our students is to touch base with those teachers. Go to, , parent teacher night, you know, , you know, send those emails, oh, well parent teacher night or meet the teacher won't be until a month after school starts. Why are you gonna wait? 

[00:11:57] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:58] Start working a week before, [00:12:00] or send out emails. 

[00:12:02] Yeah. 

[00:12:02] Right. And say, hello, this is so and so. I just wanted, you know, if you have a minute of, , you know, a minute to spare, reach out to me. If, if email's a means of communication, then I will do that. , or you know what, I, I'm sorry. I'm not really good with technology.

[00:12:15] Do you mind just calling me? I promise I'll limit it to 30 minutes at most, or 15 if that's what you can give me. Yeah. So we compromise. Yeah. , you know, so, , because then they'll know, okay, this is a parent who, who's willing to meet halfway and not just throw the load. Yeah. You know, as clinicians, , as a clinician, oftentimes it's like, can you fix my child?

[00:12:35] And I, no. You know, I actually have this little wand here that is not always on and works. Oh my God. I love that. Oh, you know, I'm not a palm reader. You know, I don't have a, you know, bola de crystal I don't know what's gonna happen. Yeah. I, I can't, I don't know. Okay. , so, you know, we cannot assume we need to clarify [00:13:00] any messages, anything we, we request.

[00:13:02] Okay. What did you understand By what I just said? Okay. Yes. Perfect. Okay. So how can you put that in your, you know, academic lingo on this IEP? Because that's your expertise, not mine. Because you, I mean, while you may know how to, you know, the verbiage and how to put it on, you know, you want to make sure that it's, it's in appropriate, , words to where the next educator.

[00:13:23] Because remember some of these, while we have meetings, pretty often, these evaluations are every three years. We can have 'em more often that there's need. , but every, every so often we have the meetings. Okay. , I mean, and, and sometimes there's turnover. So you know, how we, , how do we help our, our child or our student transition into.

[00:13:43] It just doesn't happen. Boom. 18 and all of a sudden they're self advocates. It starts, it does not work that way. 

[00:13:50] Oh my goodness. It does not. 

[00:13:51] That's with anything. Okay. Okay. You don't, they don't just turn 18 and already know how to cook Yeah. And how to work a stove and how to drive. 

[00:13:59] Yeah. [00:14:00] Yeah. 

[00:14:00] We start way ahead of time.

[00:14:02] Okay. Way before then. So, , you know, you, you mentioned, , 5 0 4 section 5 0 4. Yeah. So that is a, an accommodations only umbrella or program. 

[00:14:14] Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:14] Okay. Where special education is a program, it's not the little room in the end of the hall. Okay. It's a program that has both accommodations and modification of work.

[00:14:24] Okay. 

[00:14:25] Okay. It modifies work, so, Sometimes there's even different ways that students get graded. They have grading rubrics when they're special ed. 

[00:14:33] Wow. I had no idea. 

[00:14:35] So if, if, let's say I'm in special ed, I'm getting hundreds and you know, you're in section 5 0 4 and you're getting a 70. Okay. It's not because, you know, it just, they're grading me different because maybe they gave me a different test.

[00:14:50] Anita Sandoval LPC: Got it, got it. Oh, wow. I, you also said something with 5 0 4, that, something like you didn't need, not that you [00:15:00] didn't need proof. What was it? 

[00:15:02] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Sure. , I think, , so. You don't have to necessarily be, have the, the formal diagnoses as long as you're regarded.

[00:15:09] There you go. As having whatever disability It's 

[00:15:13] Anita Sandoval LPC: got it. , 

[00:15:13] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: yeah. And so, 

[00:15:15] Anita Sandoval LPC: so like for general anxiety, , general, , anxiety or maybe major depression, , these would qualify under 5 0 4. Yep. Wow. Okay. Yeah, 

[00:15:25] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: If, if you're regarded in A DHD, you know, some people live their whole lives, you know, never been diagnosed, they could qualify for 5 0 4 services or accommodations in, in, , higher education settings, universities, colleges.

[00:15:41] Anita Sandoval LPC: What do you think like they should be teaching, let's say we're now going from middle school to high school. How can we start learning. How to implement this at work? 'cause I know they don't do it in school systems, but where do we look for, because I know there's some resources. I think it's, , the [00:16:00] A-D-A-I-D-E-A, , once we're transitioning into young adults, what are some rights or sites that we could look for to start learning how we can advocate for ourselves when we get older?

[00:16:12] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Sure. So the ADA which is the Americans with Disabilities Act, that is a civil rights. And so that come, that encompasses schools, public settings, , the community, really anybody that serves the public. , so that's where like, you know, there isn't a ramp at this place and I want a ramp because otherwise I can't get to city Hall, you know, to advocate.

[00:16:32] So then you, you call them up and you let them know like, I can't attend your city meetings because there's no ramp. , sometime what, what I need won't be what the next person may need. Got it. But it's preventing me. So handicaps, by the way, are environmental. They're not what people have.

[00:16:49] , you know, handicaps are environmental. So, you know, can you please remove this handicap? Can you please remove this barrier for me to do this? There is a [00:17:00] caveat to this. And, and as, as a state, as I guess a nation, , we are going from, from, you know, , like private schools, you know, the voucher programs.

[00:17:09] Mm-hmm. All these things. We have to remember that again, they're private entities. Okay. Not public. So they do not have to conform with, , any of this, what we, what we're talking about. Okay? So when it comes to a person who needs accommodations, , or modifications in, let's say in a private school, it's not gonna happen.

[00:17:34] At least not to the extent that a public school can do it, because they have to. It's an obligation. It's a law. 

[00:17:39] Yeah. Okay. 

[00:17:40] But not for a private setting. , that being said, you know, I've, I've worked with families who's like, oh, well I'll just buy it or I'll just fix it. And it's like, yeah, but there's more to it.

[00:17:51] Yeah. 

[00:17:51] Right. You can buy a program, , for whatever it is, like, you know, but is, is the staff trained? And if you're just gonna buy it for your [00:18:00] child, are they gonna implement it further on? Well, in that case, just buy it for yourself and do it at home. Yeah. Yeah. So again, not just thinking about the one person, but thinking a little, expanding that, that further, , you know, when it comes to, so like I mentioned, so if you're gonna go to a private 

[00:18:17] Yeah.

[00:18:17] Post-secondary university, then. , you know, unless federal they receive federal funding, they do not have to comply. So just beware. , most places though, I will say this, most even some private schools, they'll say, okay, what can we do? How can we help within our confinements or limitations? This is what we can offer.

[00:18:36] So they will, , that's just not everybody. And so that should not be a standard expectation of private settings. 

[00:18:45] Anita Sandoval LPC: What about job? Because I know ADA helps protect with job discrimination, with people with disabilities, and there's some people with invisible disabilities like the neurodivergent population.

[00:18:54] Mm-hmm. I've heard many of patients come in and going, I got fired. I was always late, [00:19:00] or I got into a fight, or, they wanted me to be social and I wasn't social. How can the ADA help with job discrimination that can have equality and fairness where it would both work with the individual and the job that they're applying for?

[00:19:16] Gladys Cortez LPC-S: Sure. So again, this, this goes back to educating ourselves what it encompasses, right? So if I can continuously showed up late, then they're gonna fire me only 'cause I just have a disability. Doesn't mean they're gonna keep me even though I'm doing everything wrong and showing up late. Okay? So there are employer rights and there's employee rights, , for employment purposes or education purposes or any type of discrimination.

[00:19:41] We can always reach out, at least here in Texas, we have disability rights, Texas. Okay. You call their 800 number. They do have, , they do contract with attorneys, , whose specialty is disabilities. . Okay. And they will help. , the process, it is lengthy and not all cases are taken because again, there's funding limitations, , on that as [00:20:00] well.

[00:20:00] They do not disability rights. Texas does not take on criminal cases. , so I'll kind of put that out there. , so there's disability rights, Texas. Okay. If, , I'm looking for employment, I'm a person, , you know, with a disability, then I can reach out to Texas Workforce, , not just your regular Texas workforce.

[00:20:16] There is the, , what, back when it used to be known as dars, , the disability for assistive and Rehab services, but it's, it's under now, , the Texas workforce, , umbrella. 

[00:20:25] Yeah. 

[00:20:26] So you contact that specific department, so if you're visually impaired, that's yet another subdepartment of that one. 

[00:20:34] Wow. , 

[00:20:34] with service and supports, if it's a student with the visual impairment, that department will provide them whatever it, whatever is.

[00:20:43] Needed once they evaluate that person. Okay. Do they need a computer? Do they need, you know, the high tech, , assistive technology or the lower tech, you know, just a magnifying sheet. Yeah. You know, what is it that they need? They have these really cool glasses. They'll show you and teach you how to get them, , or [00:21:00] how to use them.

[00:21:00] I'm sorry, in, in there if the, the, the professor, , you know, is using some sort of smart board or something and still hard for you to see. They have things, , that they can do and you can test some of these things out to see if they're even gonna be a fit for you. 

[00:21:16] Yeah. One of the other things that, that this department, is that they will do job coaching.

[00:21:22] So, you know, when I work with individuals, , that are like 16 and during the summer, if they're already 16, they're gonna get to work. Yeah. I 

[00:21:31] don't care. 

[00:21:32] If they're blind, if they're deaf, if they have, intellectual disability, they're gonna go to work. 'cause I'm gonna refer them. And they do get paid, by the way.

[00:21:39] It's a summer Earn and learn, program. And what it does is they do evaluate them. So they take everything into consideration, even medication, because some medications we cannot be out in the sun. Right? Yeah. Or my medical condition doesn't, does not allow me to do that.

[00:21:54] So they take all of this into consideration. They do the job placement portion of it, , with, [00:22:00] with, , people they have contracts with. So it could be HEB, little Caesars, Peter Piper, oh, you know, local, , Walgreens, things like that. , And then they have what is, depending on the needs of that person, a job coach.

[00:22:11] So someone that's gonna teach them a one-to-one on how to stack or how to file or how to do whatever the job requirement is. This is at no cost to the employer. Okay, this is at no cost to the employer. And so, you know, it's, it's a, it's a win-win. So it teaches the individual. And oftentimes I have parents, oh, but Gladys, you know, you know, they, they don't even wanna take, you know, directions or instructions from me.

[00:22:41] I'm like, well, would you rather wait till they're 18 to figure out what's gonna be needed? Yeah. Because at that point you have no say so, mama. Okay. Or do you want to do it now? And how can we, we have two years to help further evolve and improve whatever skills this person needs. Yeah. Yes. [00:23:00] 

[00:23:00] Okay. I love how you said 

[00:23:01] that.

[00:23:01] I've worked with individuals and there's one person that comes to mind, and they did beautifully to the point where they did not need the services anymore. They were applying for jobs and applying for school, and they went, they were in special ed when they were minors all through, so, you know.

[00:23:23] Every now and again when, when that person, when I do see that person, or I see the parent, they're like, oh my gosh, that was great. That was the best thing. , you know, so sometimes we do have to work with the parent because we tend to become very protective at times. 

[00:23:37] Yeah. 

[00:23:37] You know, as Hispanics, , overprotective a lot of the time, okay.

[00:23:41] We shelter. 

[00:23:43] Yep, yep. 

[00:23:45] You know, , and so what happens is we don't, we don't, , allow these individuals to really open up and expand their wings. Yeah. 

[00:23:53] And you know what? It's gonna happen. They're gonna hit those bump in the roads, but that's part of life. You know, we have to learn how to get [00:24:00] up after those, you know, life knocks us down.

[00:24:03] Anita Sandoval LPC: Yeah. Yeah. I think that's like the greatest lesson, if anything that I have to tell my patients is, you know, when you protect 'em where they're not. Getting challenged and they're not in pain and they're not suffering, they're not learning. You are actually harming them. And not hurting them, but harming them.

[00:24:21] Mm-hmm. And, and so it's good to have these life lessons of, of some type of challenge, struggle, suffering that is controlled environment within your home. And then I tell them, this is gonna be harder when you're on your own. 'cause I'm not gonna be here forever. So, you know, and it's hard, but I go, this is a life lesson.

[00:24:44] Mm-hmm. Because we're not gonna be here forever. Yeah. And if you do not know your rights, if you do not know how you learn, how are you going to be successful in life? Mm-hmm. And, and you know, is this what you want? What do you want in [00:25:00] life? And I, I get to know, okay, what does my child want? What do they need?

[00:25:04] And then we work together to be like, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now, what is the skill that you need to start learning and how can we start doing it now, as in the baby step to build that bridge for when you are an adult and Absolutely. Yeah. That, that's exactly where we're at.

[00:25:23] Will the work keep you when you're doing this? Do you think that's how that's going to be? And so letting them fail as much as it hurts the mama and I tell them that, or even the father, I go, the hardest pain is having you see your child suffer, struggle, challenged, and not be able to do anything but support them.

[00:25:50] Yes. 

[00:25:50] Cedric: Tomorrow in Part Three, we answer the question every parent avoids what happens if I’m not always there to speak for them? [00:26:00]